Why Personal Vows Matter

Personal wedding vows are more than just words—they’re a heartfelt promise, a reflection of your unique relationship, and often the moment that brings everyone (including the couple!) to tears. Unlike traditional vows, which follow a set script, custom vows offer you the chance to express your love in your own voice.

But staring at a blank page can be intimidating. What should you say? How long should it be? Should you include a joke? That’s where your marriage celebrant becomes your greatest ally.

Celebrants: Your Secret Vow-Writing Weapon

Marriage celebrants aren’t just there to sign the paperwork and speak on the day—they’re experienced professionals who know how to turn nerves and emotions into something beautiful. Many celebrants have helped hundreds of couples craft vows that are both moving and meaningful.

Here’s how they can help:

1. Finding Your Voice

Not everyone is a natural writer, but everyone has something to say. Celebrants are experts at helping you uncover what you truly want to express. Through gentle questioning and examples, they help draw out the essence of your relationship and what marriage means to you.

They’ll often ask things like:

  • What do you admire most about your partner?
  • When did you know they were ‘the one’?
  • What are you promising in your marriage?

These answers become the building blocks of your vows.

2. Structure & Flow

One of the most challenging parts of writing vows is knowing where to start—and where to stop. A celebrant can guide you with a simple structure that still leaves room for creativity. For example:

  • Start with a memory or story
  • Talk about what your partner means to you
  • Make your promises
  • Finish with a personal or hopeful note for the future

Your celebrant can help balance the emotional tone—ensuring it’s meaningful but not overly dramatic, sweet without being too saccharine, and appropriately humorous if that suits your relationship.

3. Keeping it Real (and Balanced)

It’s not uncommon for one partner to write pages while the other keeps it to three lines. Your celebrant can help both of you create vows that complement each other in length and tone, even if they’re completely different in content. That way, your vows feel matched and meaningful in the moment.

They’ll also steer you away from inside jokes that might leave your guests confused—or over-the-top declarations that might feel awkward later.

4. Rehearsal and Delivery Tips

A good celebrant will encourage you to practise your vows, even if you plan to read them. They’ll offer tips on how to pause, breathe, and make eye contact. If nerves are getting the better of you, some celebrants even offer to keep your vows on hand and gently cue you through them on the day.

5. Optional Keepsakes

Some celebrants go a step further and print your vows on beautiful cards or keepsakes, so they don’t just live in your memory, but in your hands forever. It’s a small touch that adds extra magic.

Final Thoughts

Writing your own vows is one of the most personal parts of your wedding—and you don’t have to do it alone. With the help of a caring and experienced celebrant, the process becomes less intimidating and more joyful. Whether you're romantic, funny, sentimental, or poetic, your vows should feel like you. And a celebrant’s job is to help bring that voice to life.

Find the right Celebrant for you right HERE💍